Guide to dating women over 30

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There will be a closet full of weird lotions you definitely don’t want to try when you visit their home, but at least there won’t be a wall of weird bootleg Japanese Mickey Mouse toys that look like transexual Barbie dolls. Once you hit 30, the chances of finding a man who 1) is not a drunk, 2) is not a drug addict, 3) still has hair on his head, and 4) is not some weird pedophile who likes to wear clown masks while he bangs you is like one in ten million.“Oh my God, I met the nicest guy this weekend! He works as a school teacher, and volunteers as a youth pastor on the weekends!

Once a man hits 30, he is a turd on a sidewalk that buys ladies drinks.

Before you write off everyone for all the wrong reasons, just remember that as you age, the stakes get higher. Few things in life follow a sequential order, and your love life isn't one of them. But your dates aren't managers, bartenders or flight attendants. (or Ms.) Right, and your hunt has extended into your 30s, consider yourself one of the lucky ones: You're finally wise enough to realize that being committed to one partner actually require a dose of settling; it's called compromise.

Let's start off strong here, folks: if you don't pick up any tips in the dating game in your 20s, suffice it say that your 30s ain't looking so good, either. Or when you land the perfect apartment that you can finally afford with west-facing light and enough closet space to fit all of your shoes, the man of your dreams will just wander into your orbit. And yes, when it comes to salaries, martinis and aisle seats, it makes sense to ask for exactly what you want. If you're someone who happens to be on the hunt for Mr.

She's learned that she's great just the way she is and has let go of insecurities she may have had when she was younger. If she is upset, it is for a good reason and you need to pay attention.7. She's learned not to take herself too seriously and knows that it's important to enjoy yourself. She knows she's at her best when she's eating and sleeping well and getting some exercise.20. She knows that people rarely change and isn't going to wait around or nag you, hoping you'll turn into someone else.

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Owning up to those mistakes and challenging yourself to get back in the dating field is a sign of maturity.Let’s be honest here, some people might find that dating in your 30s doesn’t seem as exciting as it was in your 20s.It is an entirely different ballgame out there, and it doesn’t seem so juvenile now. It’s also a fact that 100 percent of single men in their 30s are outright disgusting and beyond repair. Regardless, you need to say yes to everyone and everything. There may be more women in this world than men, but every single one of them has better options than some balding, fatass emotional cripple like yourself, especially if they’re willing to look for more than four minutes. As you sit there arguing with an inanimate page in the newspaper, some vaguely ethnic guy is messaging all the suitable ladies on Tinder. Does her voice sound like a dead child’s skull being scraped against a chalkboard shaped like a swastika? Remember those immature creeps in high school who would pin other guys to the floor so they could sit on their face and fart? Expect at least 40 hours per week of video game time. Accept it, and also accept any offer you receive from a grown woman. If you’re over 30 and single, you’re either ugly and don’t know it, or you have severe emotional problems that only make it possible for you to get an erection if someone reads a Beverly Cleary novel out loud in Portuguese. He looks like Bruno Mars’ fat dad, and he is a sexy force with which you can’t possibly compete.

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