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"The amount of times that people are approached when they have photos is multitudes more than when they don't," says Gian Gonzaga, Ph D, e Harmony's senior director of research and development and head of e Harmony Labs. Leave behind group shots, which can make it confusing for other people to identify you, advises Spira, and choose a headshot in which you are smiling."Your primary photo should be all about you." She recommends posting between three to five photos only—any more and "it's as if you're already smothering your future partner." Also, be sure to include a shot where you can see your body.

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But for others, they have to date someone many times, maybe even over weeks or months, to know whether there’s chemistry in the air—and they may need to date several people before they finally feel that “click.” If you immediately exclude all other guys or gals from the moment you have your first lunch date with someone until his or her annoying laugh causes you to bolt two months later, you may have to go through several mini-relationships in a row before you’re done. Going on dates with a few different good candidates around the same time helps you find out fast who’s wrong, without forcing you to wait and wait and wait to find out who’s right.I see women who continually find men who, for whatever reason, never step up to treat them the way they deserve. I realized that it had very little to do with the men, but more to do with how the women approached dating. "I equate online dating to looking for a job," says Julie Spira, cyber-dating expert and author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating."You'd want a rock star résumé for your perfect dream job, and you should feel the same way about your online dating profile." And the profile is just where it starts—we have plenty of expert tips, from sending the perfect first e-mail to picking your first date location.

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